by Emily Hechler 
Money plays a significant role in every stage of a relationship. Yet, money management is also one of the most common sources of stress for couples. Whether you’re newly married, planning for a baby, considering living on one income, or rebuilding after divorce, learning how to manage money together (or separately) is essential for long-term stability and trust. This guide walks through money management for couples in various stages of your relationship. Whether you’re combining or separating finances, budgeting for a growing family, or protecting your financial wellbeing, you’ll have the resources necessary to make confident, informed decisions at every stage of your financial journey as a couple.
How to Combine Finances as a Couple
As a couple, you need to determine how you will manage your money. Ideally, you should start this conversation before you say “I do” so you start your marriage with the same financial situation in mind. There are three ways to manage your money as a couple, you can combine all your money, keep all your money separate, or do a little of both. Let’s discuss the highlights and differences between these methods.
Joint Accounts
According to LendingTree, 41% of couples share all their bank accounts. Sharing all income and accounts encourages frequent and open communication, which helps build trust. Both people can feel financially secure knowing that they are working together for their short-term needs and long-term plans. Plus, with only one set of checking and savings accounts, it’s easier to keep track of spending and saving.
However, this approach can also present challenges. Differences in spending habits, such as one partner being a saver and the other a spender, can lead to tension. Debt can be another point of conflict when one spouse enters the marriage with significantly more debt than the other. This is especially true if the couple earns very different incomes. Couples that completely combine their finances should regularly discuss their money management to avoid creating feelings of resentment or unfairness as one partner feels they are bearing the weight of the other’s past and current financial situation.
Separate Accounts
Managing money separately focuses on equity rather than equality, meaning each partner contributes a fair portion to shared expenses based on their individual income. This approach gives both individuals the freedom to spend and save as they choose, as long as they meet their agreed-upon obligations. It can be especially beneficial when one spouse enters the marriage with significant debt or struggles with unhealthy spending habits, since each person remains responsible for their own financial decisions and consequences.
That said, keeping finances separate can make working toward shared goals more complicated. Clear rules and expectations are needed around savings, contributions, and alignment around shared goals. Without intentional communication, separating finances can be a missed opportunity for teamwork and create emotional distance.
Some Joint and Separate Accounts
Couples that use the “a bit of both” method both contribute to the shared accounts and expenses. The key difference is that each person has their own account to spend or save as they see fit. Many couples use a form of this method without realizing it. For my husband and I, we put all our income into shared accounts. In our budget, we each have a category we call “fun money.” I can use my fun money how I want and he can use his fun money how he wants. Neither of us has to consult the other first since we have already agreed to our spending limits.
This method takes the best parts of the other two ways to merge money. It encourages teamwork and shared focus on the future while leaving room for freedom and avoiding financial strain.
Manage Your Accounts Together
Deciding whether to totally combine, separate, or partially merge your finances is up to you. The key to successfully using any of these methods is communication and honesty. When mistakes happen, take ownership of your faults and move forward together to grow closer as a couple and strengthen your money management skills.
Tracking Habits for Combined Accounts
Every couple manages money differently. While the initial conversation may be hard, talking about your finances together is a step toward managing your money together. Open communication can help you reach your individual and family goals. As a couple, you may decide to combine your finances and manage your money with joint checking and savings accounts. Check out these tips for managing joint accounts with clarity and ease.
Sharing Passwords
First, neither spouse can accurately manage an account if they don’t have access to the password, regardless of whether their name is on the account. This also means that investment accounts, spending trackers, and other financial app passwords must be shared. Make sure each of you stores the account passwords in a secure location.
Budgeting Better
Now that you two have access to all joint accounts, you need to budget your spending and saving. Many couples manage their money differently, such as combining all the income and savings or keeping some separate for personal priorities. No matter how you decide to split the expenses, both individuals need to be on the same page. Create a budget together so you each have clear guidelines on how your money will be spent or saved. If you’ve never created a budget before, check out our top budgeting strategies.
Tracking Apps
Keeping track of your saving and spending can be hard when you’ve never tried, or if you’re recovering from failed attempts. Honeydue, Goodbudget, and Splitwise are popular options for couples that want an easy-to-use tool at an affordable price. You and your partner will find a balance for how to categorize and track your spending within your budget. To help, Alltru has free digital banking tools that allow you to see each transaction. Plus, you can create goals within your accounts to proactively track your progress. Don’t worry, you can also set up account alerts to stay aware of account activity.
Monitoring Your Budget
Even if you’re both committed to following a budget together, overspending happens from time to time. When this happens, take accountability for your actions to rebuild your trust. You can also reexamine your budget together to see if you need to adjust your allowance in certain categories. This may mean decreasing your entertainment budget to make room for rising utility costs. My husband and I reexamine our budget categories every three months so we can adjust our spending and saving to accurately reflect the past few months while looking forward to our future.
Changing Your Name with Bills to Pay
An exciting reality about getting married was changing my last name to my husband’s. This isn’t a new concept, but I was unprepared to navigate the process. Not to mention, my financial records were at stake. If you plan on changing your last name [EH5] to be the same as your spouse, here are the steps.
Changing Your Legal Name
Before updating your name on financial accounts, you must first legally change it through Social Security. You can begin the process online using their name change form. Regardless of whether you start online, you’ll need to visit a local Social Security office with a current ID or driver’s license. Bringing your marriage license in person will allow you to complete your name change sooner than if you wait for an online version to be processed. Once you complete the process, the office will mail your new Social Security card to your home.
After updating your name with Social Security, you can change it on your driver’s license at the DMV. Your Social Security documentation will serve as proof of the name change. Be sure to check your state’s requirements ahead of time so you bring all the necessary documents with you. You’ll leave the DMV with a temporary license while you wait for your official card to arrive.
Changing Your Bank Account Information
After legally changing your name, your bank accounts should be the first accounts you update. Since your bills, loans, and other payments are linked to these, updating these accounts next helps the rest of the process go more smoothly. When you visit your credit union, bring an official copy of your marriage license, your new driver’s license, and your new Social Security card.
Once your name is updated with your financial institution, you’ll also need to replace your debit cards. Many credit unions can issue instant cards during the same visit, so it’s a good idea to ask ahead of time. Be sure to update your name on any unsecured loans or credit cards you hold with the credit union as well.
Updating Your Housing Information
Next, you need to update your name with your landlord if you’re a renter or your lender if you’re a homeowner to prevent issues when verifying your residency. They’ll likely want your new ID and marriage license, but check with your landlord or lender before trying to update your name in their records. Homeowners can also contact their local county recorder to change their name on tax records to avoid more steps during tax season.
Changing Your Car Loan and Title
After changing your name, update it on your car loan by contacting your lender. They will typically require an official copy of your marriage license and your new driver’s license. Once your loan reflects your new name, you can update your car title and registration at the DMV. While this requires you to go back again, you have to update your driver’s license before you can update the name on your car loan. You also have to update the name on your car loan before updating your car title.
When visiting the DMV, bring your marriage license, new driver’s license, and car title. Updating your title allows the DMV to quickly adjust your registration as well, ensuring your vehicle records and personal property tax bills are issued under your new name and current address.
Updating Your Insurance and Other Bills
Once you update the name on your loans, you can change your name with your various insurance providers, including health, auto, home or renters, and life insurance providers. Each company has a slightly different process, but most will need an official copy of your marriage license and your new driver’s license. Afterward, update your name on other bills such as utilities, student loans, and subscriptions. Many of these accounts will offer an online process that can be completed in minutes.
Budgeting for a Baby
As you think about growing your family, planning ahead for baby’s expenses will reduce some of the stress caused by the many changes. Welcoming a new baby is exciting, but that doesn’t mean the unknown isn’t intimidating. Here is a top-level view of how to budget for welcoming a new baby.
Reviewing Your Budget
Reviewing your budget is a crucial step in financially preparing for a growing family. A new child will change your spending habits since you’ll have new expenses to manage. By assessing your current budget, you can see where you can adjust your spending and saving to comfortably provide for your little one. This allows you to save in advance and avoid paying for several large expenses around the same time. Ideally, begin about a year before your expected arrival to account for early births or unexpected costs.
During pregnancy, you’ll likely need to budget for items such as hospital bills, diapers, clothing, feeding supplies, nursery furniture, a car seat, a stroller, and other care items. After birth, you’ll continue paying for similar expenses that adjust as your child grows, such as larger diapers and pull-ups, clothes, more food, larger bedding, and age-appropriate activities.
Predicting Your Income
Some employers offer paid parental leave when your little one is born. You should also factor in the time you or your spouse may be away from work for maternity leave and whether you’ll continue to receive pay during that period. If you’re unsure, check your employer’s leave policy. You may even decide to go from two incomes to one during or after parental leave. Calculating your expected income during this window will help you create a realistic budget and determine how much you can afford while your earnings are reduced. By preparing early, you can focus on enjoying this special time with your baby without financial stress.
Growing Your Emergency Fund
More people in your family means there are more ways accidents can happen. Prepare for the unexpected with an emergency fund. If you don’t have an emergency fund yet, start by saving $1,000. Then, grow your emergency savings to three to six months of living expenses. Make sure you keep this money separate from your baby savings so you don’t miscalculate your budget.
Investing for Your Baby’s Future
Investing in your child’s future is one of the most important financial steps you can take. Saving for their future early gives your money more time to grow, whether through a CUbby Kids account for ages 0–7, a Coverdell Education IRA for college savings, or both. By setting up recurring contributions, you can build their savings consistently and gradually. After a short time, you may barely notice the change in your spending but see the growth in your child’s savings.
Living on a Single Income?
As I mentioned earlier, some families decide to live on a single income once they welcome a baby. It’s becoming more challenging for my generation to do so. While emotions are high, it’s important to still make a decision grounded in reality. Here are the steps to determine if your family can afford to live on one income.
Budgeting with Your Current Income
The first step in figuring out if your family can live on a single income is to track your current income and spending patterns. Creating a zero-based budget with your existing income is the easiest way to see where your money is going and identify areas to save. When every dollar has a purpose, you give yourself clear guidelines on how to save or spend your money.
Budgeting with a Reduced Income
Next, build a zero-based budget using your expected reduced income. You’ll likely need to adjust the amounts in several categories to reflect a smaller income. This may require making sacrifices. Some of these changes may be easy to spot and maintain, such as entertainment, vacations, or dining out. Other changes may be tougher, such as loan payments, long-term savings, and home care items.
Continue adjusting your budget until you find a balance that covers your essential needs while keeping your priorities on track. If meeting both your needs and other priorities isn’t possible with a reduced income, focus on your needs first. Then, you can use the rest of your funds to put toward your other priorities. This may mean it takes longer for you to pay off a loan or to save for a major purchase like a car.
Making It Work
As you continue to adjust your budget, you might realize that it’s not possible to meet enough of your priorities with one income. If this is the case, discuss with your partner why you want to reduce to one income. While your reasons are valid, you can work around some of your concerns to compromise in a way that still cares well for your family. This may mean working part-time instead of full-time temporarily until you can meet your financial goals and maintain living on one income.
Needing a second income may seem defeating to some couples. Many parents would agree that some sacrifices are worth it to live on one income. You and your spouse know your situation best. If you need help managing your expenses during this adjustment, talk to a Certified Credit Union Financial Counselor for professional guidance.
Budgeting for Baby’s First Year
It’s easier to budget for your little one’s expenses with a detailed list of what to expect. Understanding both the initial and ongoing costs of raising a baby will help you create a sustainable budget. By dividing your child’s first year into stages, you can estimate expenses and plan strategically, supporting both your growing family and your long-term financial goals.
Pre-Baby Expenses
In the several months leading up to your little one’s arrival, you can save for and purchase major one-time expenses, including a nursery, car seat, stroller, and other care items. Leading up to baby’s birth, you should also save for hospital expenses. Contact your health insurance company to get an estimate on what you can expect to spend on these bills. Your baby will also need clothes, diapers, feeding supplies, and other care items ready for them to come home to. Pampers has a detailed list of what you should buy before your baby arrives. Some items may not apply to your situation, but it’s a great guide to help you remember to buy what you need for your growing family.
Newborn Expenses
Once your baby arrives, your expenses change from preparing for the birth to meeting your newborn’s ongoing needs. Shortly after leaving the hospital, you may receive bills for both you and your baby’s care, with costs varying depending on your health insurance and coverage. By saving ahead for these expenses, you can avoid financing your expenses or experiencing additional emotional strain due to the costs.
During the newborn stage, frequent doctor visits are necessary to monitor your baby’s health. These appointments are typically at 3 days, 1 month, and 2 months after birth. In addition to medical care, your baby will need larger clothes, diapers, feeding supplies, and other essentials to support healthy growth. Around this time, you should start researching local childcare options if you anticipate needing additional help after your parental leave comes to an end.
3-6 Month Expenses
When your baby is between three and six months old, anticipate two more wellness checks at four and six months. This is the age range where you can expect to pay for ongoing childcare in addition to your other regular expenses like healthcare, insurance, clothes, diapers, feeding supplies, and other care items.
6-12 Month Expenses
When your baby is between six months and a year old, anticipate two more wellness checks at nine and 12 months. You’ll likely have a slight increase in baby’s ongoing expenses, but healthcare and insurance costs should remain the same. WECU estimates out of pocket costs to total $20,000 to $50,000 from birth to baby’s first year. This range is vast due to the varying costs of insurance and healthcare coverage for families.
Implementing Your Budget
Now that you know what you need to buy and when, you can add these expenses to your budget. First, you should save for the pre-baby expenses. Determine when you want to make these purchases and divide the totals by how many months you have to save to meet these goals. Next, start saving for the newborn expenses, since this age range will likely be the most expensive. After you leave the newborn stage, you can add your recurring expenses to your budget to make sure you can pay for baby’s needs as they grow.
Separating Finances in Marriage
Financial stress is a frequent source of conflict in marriage. When it goes unaddressed, it can create substantial damage to the relationship and financial wellbeing of the couple. While money disputes alone don’t end relationships, repeated issues can point to deeper problems. If you’re thinking about keeping finances separate, these situations may signal risks to both trust and long-term financial stability.
Warning: Debt Concerns
Debt itself isn’t the problem. Most people rely on a loan to pay for large expenses like college, cars, and homes. With Americans carrying an average of over $18,000 in consumer debt, borrowing is often a practical tool. Trouble arises when debt is taken on without communication or agreement. Opening joint credit without consent, making major purchases that derail shared goals, or cosigning against a partner’s wishes can all undermine financial stability and trust. However, shared debt can support financial and personal progress when both partners agree about how it should be managed. If both partners don’t agree on how to manage the loan, it can be a reason to separate your finances.
Warning: Secret Bank Accounts
Secret bank accounts often point to unhealthy financial behavior. This is especially true when one partner hides income, avoids paying their agreed share, or moves money without the other’s knowledge. The core issue is the secrecy itself. Intentionally limiting a partner’s access to or awareness of shared finances undermines trust, disrupts financial planning, and can signal deeper problems in communication and accountability. If this type of behavior is evident in your relationship, it may be time to separate your money.
Warning: Unaligned Goals
Unaligned financial goals don’t automatically break a relationship, but they can create serious strain when partners disagree on short-term priorities versus long-term plans. While differing views on money are common even in strong marriages, unresolved disagreements can put the relationship and finances at stake. With honest communication and a willingness to compromise, couples can work through these differences and find solutions that support shared and personal financial progress. If unaligned financial goals are creating monetary strain, this may be a sign that you should separate your money.
Warning: Gambling Addiction
Gambling can put a spouse and family at serious financial risk, especially when it becomes secretive or addictive. While only a small percentage of Americans struggle with gambling problems, the consequences can be devastating, as impaired judgment can quickly lead to the loss of significant savings. When gambling involves hidden behavior, excessive stakes, or addiction, it undermines trust and financial stability; in those cases, separating finances may be necessary to protect both partners and their family.
Protecting Your Finances
These issues may indicate deeper trust concerns that warrant separating your finances, even if you previously agreed to combine your money. This separation may be temporary if the couple works through their issues and rebuilds trust. However, this separation can be so detrimental to a marriage that it contributes to divorce. If you decide to separate your finances make an appointment with a Certified Credit Union Financial Counselor for guidance on how to manage your money going forward.
Separating Your Combined Debt
Because financial issues are a common factor in divorce, joint loans are often part of the process. Although a divorce decree may outline how debt should be divided, lenders still expect full repayment regardless of what the divorce decree says. Joint debt is typically resolved in one of three ways: refinancing the loan into one person’s name, selling the associated assets, or paying the balance in full.
Refinancing Your Loans
One common way to separate joint loans is through refinancing. This protects you financially if your ex stops making payments after the divorce. Refinancing requires applying with the lender, who will reassess the loan based on individual income, credit history, and debt-to-income ratio. However, the lender may deny preapproval if the original loan relied on both partners’ credit scores and income. Credit card debt adds another layer of complexity, as state laws vary. Typically, credit cards leave both parties responsible for the full balance. To reduce risk, couples often close joint cards and transfer remaining balances to separate accounts in each person’s name.
Liquidating Your Assets
Liquidating assets during a divorce ensures a clear financial separation. By selling assets with collateral, like a house or car, you can divide the equity or sale proceeds between you and your ex. It’s important to consult your lawyer before making this type of separation. While selling the collateral may result in some loss if assets have depreciated, it frees you from any future financial liability tied to your ex and guarantees a clean break.
Paying Off the Debt
Another direct way to separate debt from your ex is to pay off any joint loans entirely. Once the loan is cleared, you may be able to take out a new loan in just your name. Before proceeding, check with your attorney for their advice. Also, confirm whether the lender charges any prepayment penalties. For example, you could use a new car loan or mortgage to pay off the existing joint loan. Keep in mind that approval for a new loan depends on your individual credit and debt-to-income ratio, and a high balance could lead to denial.
Recovering After Divorce
Managing your finances after a divorce can feel daunting, but gaining control is key to moving past financial challenges. With careful planning, you can budget effectively and set yourself up for a stable future. Whether you’re consolidating debt, paying off joint loans, or saving for retirement, this guide offers practical steps to help you achieve financial recovery and independence.
Evaluating Your Current Financial Situation
At this stage, your income is permanently separated from your ex. So, you can start monitoring your situation by listing obligations from your divorce decree, like joint loans or alimony. Review your other minimum debt payments as well. If your income can’t cover all these expenses, consider a debt consolidation loan for your personal payments. Even though you’ll be paying off the loan longer, it’s the tool you need to stay afloat in the short-term. Finally, take stock of your assets and retirement savings to understand exactly what funds are fully yours.
Making a Budget
Start with a zero-based budget so you can allocate every dollar of your income to specific expenses. Fill in your budget by starting with your joint loan payments and obligations, then personal loan payments followed by your remaining essential costs, and finally savings and other recurring expenses.
Rebuilding Your Emergency Fund
Ideally, your income covers your minimum payments, essential expenses, and leaves a little extra for savings. Use that surplus to rebuild your emergency fund. Start with a goal of $1,000 for a starter emergency fund. Then, save until you can cover three to six months of expenses. It may take several months or over a year to save enough money for this emergency fund. However, it’s far better than facing an unexpected expense and needing to take on another loan.
Reducing Your Debt
Once your emergency fund is rebuilt, it’s time to tackle your personal debt, excluding any joint debt with your ex. Focus on loans and credit under just your name. You can choose the snowball method and pay off the smallest balances first or the avalanche method and target the highest-interest debt first. The surplus income that you were saving for your emergency savings can now be put toward paying off your debt faster. Use our calculator to see which payoff strategy works best for your situation.
Saving for Retirement
Once you are on your way to paying off your debt, you should plan ahead for your retirement. Many employers offer a retirement savings match if you utilize their 401(k) or Roth IRA accounts. This means your employer will contribute as much as you do toward your retirement savings, up to a certain amount. This is a smart option to boost your savings. The sooner you can set up your retirement savings with a match, the more money you’ll have in these accounts to take advantage of during retirement. You can supplement your retirement savings with accounts at Alltru. We offer Traditional and Roth IRA accounts to help you save for your future.
Rebuilding Your Credit Score
Post-divorce, you may have a damaged credit score. Rebuilding your credit score will help you secure lower interest payments on loans. Making your minimum loan payments on time will help increase your credit score because this shows your lenders that you are a dependable borrower. In addition, keep your credit utilization, or available credit, low. Do your best to avoid using more than 30% of your credit. For example, if you have a $10,000 credit card limit, don’t charge more than $3,000 to your card without paying it down first. To help you gauge how much debt you have versus your income, calculate your debt-to-income, or DTI, ratio. The lower your DTI ratio, the better.
At Alltru, we understand that bad things happen to good people. That’s why we offer checking accounts for those with low credit scores and credit building loans to help rebuild poor credit scores. Our various tools can help you get back on your feet after a financial setback like divorce. Make an appointment with a Certified Credit Union Financial Counselor for help creating a plan to get your finances where you need them for a strong future.
Raising Your Income
After a divorce, recovering financially can be challenging, especially if you’re dealing with an income gap or more debt than you can manage. In some cases, taking on a second job or finding a higher-paying full-time position may be the best solution. For many people, this is the first time in years they’ve had to be financially independent. Although adding or changing jobs requires extra effort and change, the hard work can put both your present and future self in a stronger position. It can also open the door to meeting new people who will support and encourage you through whatever comes next.
Thriving Is Possible
Recovering financially after a divorce takes time, but each step you take moves you closer to independence and security. While the process can feel overwhelming, carefully reviewing your expenses, budgeting wisely, and saving strategically helps set the foundation for a stronger financial future.
Money Management is Essential
What matters most is choosing a system that supports your shared goals, respects individual needs, and encourages open, honest communication. As life evolves, your financial strategies may need to change as well. By budgeting intentionally, planning ahead, addressing challenges early, and seeking guidance when needed, couples can reduce financial stress and build a stronger foundation for the future. With the right tools and mindset, money management creates security, independence, and opportunities for whatever comes next. If you’re not sure what should come next, talk to a Certified Credit Union Financial Counselor to help you take your next step.
